Narrative and Existential Focused Therapy

In an ideal therapeutic context, counselling would target the whole self. Our world tends to try to break things into categories and labels in order to try to make life more manageable. Yet, when it comes to us and our well-being, this often fractures as much as it brings clarity. A diagnosis, or symptom term can be a helpful directive for treatment, certainly, but what about the full, complex whole of who you are that is within and around that?

Narrative and Existential focused Therapy ask all of you to enter the counselling room.

I trained in Narrative practice with the Vancouver School for Narrative Therapy (VSNT), and draw from core narrative practices even while employing other clinical modalities. A Narrative approach to counselling, asks us to see our ‘problems’ as a part of who we are, as opposed to most or all of what we are. It asks us to experience our struggles as external to our core self and values, and offers frameworks in which to intentionally understand which dominant narratives are influencing how we see ourselves, the choices we make and ultimately our life trajectory.

Trauma has a powerful ability to hijack our life. As our basic human survival instincts require us to hold memory and learning from anything that threatened our existence, and not forget these trauma so as to learn from and not replicate them, if we have trauma it will naturally become our default dominant life narrative and one of the most powerful influences over our identity. This is what makes it so difficult to let trauma go - it tries to imbed itself in the very fibres of our being.

Narrative and Existentially focused therapy offers a way through this, with a gentle, exploration oriented approach to identity and pattern work and the continual request and accountability to search for the larger pieces of who we are and want to become.

Core ways I work with these frameworks:

Self-Esteem and Secure Self-Attachment Work -

When we are fixated on our problems and wounds (this is what pain asks us to do), it is almost impossible to feel whole, empowered or good about ourselves. I use a narrative, existential and anti-oppression approach to self-esteem (secure self-attachment) and identity work. I ask questions and open up focus points, that help clients hone in on the beliefs and implicit ideas that are limiting their sense of self-worth and belief in their abilities and potentials. Often this involves looking at the narratives and experience of insecure attachment and previous trauma that underline self-worth and esteem struggles, with a focus on creating possibilities for self-compassion, internal validation, automatic role identifying (IFS work comes in here). By asking questions about who you are underneath and above and beyond your daily choices, thoughts and emotions, we can clarifying what your core values are. With this known, a template for how to make choices and prioritize our focus, so that we are embodying the qualities of what will bring worth and purpose to our lives, becomes available to us.

When we have a more secure, understanding, big picture perspective based relationship with ourselves, we are able to experience ourselves for all of our capabilities and life options. Improved mood, reduced anxiety and healthier, less codependent relationships with others become not only possible when this is known, but it becomes clear that we have power to intentionally create health and wellbeing in our lives. And how to do so loses all mystery: priorities and focus. What will yours be?

I look forward to helping free who you really are from the shackles of outdated assumptions, external pressures, and trauma adaptations that are weighing you down. You are in there - I promise <3

Strength Based “Failure” Regrouping work -

As a recovering perfectionist myself who used fear of failure narratives to motivate myself for years, I am particularly experienced at helping people put the pains of their past into perspective, develop self-forgiveness and learn to see setbacks or ‘failures’ as necessary parts of our healing journey. The ability to contact updated, full perspective, trauma informed understanding our our wounds helps us meaningfully reset and regroup after our setbacks and see them as part of what informs our grit and abilities.

I use narrative and existentially informed questions and perspectives for this treatment focus, that help us get clearer about what has lead you to evaluate certain life experiences as setbacks. We will hone in on what expectations and ‘shoulds’ are contributing to your difficulty letting old hurts go, and focus on how to unlearn and reprogram the beliefs and narratives that are keeping you stuck and in pain + defeat. This allows even the most painful PAST experiences (current hurts get a different treatment) to become opportunities for self discovery and love and a deeper understanding of our grit and resilience as opposed to sources of regret or resentment. This allows us to embody a life narrative, sense of self and present-centered focus that is truly supportive and reflective of the whole of who we are - not one that keeps getting hijacked by incomplete and outdated regret or fear narratives from our past.

Identity and Life-Visioning Work -

Who are we and what are we going to create with our one wildly precious life?

Are we the things we do in a day? The things that have happened to us? Are we what we like/dislike, our relationships, our roles, our jobs? I take the approach that this seemingly complex question, has, when we let go of everything that distracts us and obscures our vision, a simple (but not easy) answer. We are beings inherently worthy of love, freedom and the pursuit of our sincerest passions and most complex potentials. And when we come to embody these truths, we learn that we get to chose who and what we are.

Now how do we nurture this? My approach to identity and life-visioning work is grounded in radical self-acceptance, narrative + existential musings, and the neuro-plasticity backed proof that we are constantly adapting and growing, whether we like it or not. Now we just have to figure out what say you are going to have in your destiny.

I will ask questions from existential and narrative therapeutics, that create space for you to explore and notice points of stuckness, places your identity is being overtaken by expectations, old/outdated rules, and emotional burdens that may not even be yours. We will help you clarify the values you want to be living by and the core gifts you possess (the qualities that your unique life experiences and differences have nurtured in you) and the fears that are standing in the way of you living fully by these potentials. You will have the chance to look at the pains that have held you back with love and acceptance, and know that you are already capable of everything you want, we just have to clear out the false assumptions, and emotional pain that has convinced you otherwise.

You are your best answer. I will stand beside you in this process, and intentionally create room for you to step forwards and discover it’s always been ok to listen to your inner world and needs. You have all the truths you have ever needed to have a loving relationship with yourself, and a life that matches this.

I look forward to meeting you <3