Emotional Abuse & Narcissistic Injury
Info & Counselling Approach
Were you ever told the saying, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me?”
This is a lie many of us were told. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. Words and their tone and meaning have a powerful effect on our nervous system. How we talk to ourselves, and how others talk to us or have talked to us in the past, particularly our childhood caregivers, shapes not only our day to day moods, sense of safety or lack thereof, but our fundamental sense of self.
We are fully capable of growing out of the patterns of harmful messaging that have shaped us. Let’s talk about how to get you back on your own team!
<3 Carly
Do you often feel painfully unsure of yourself - as if the rest of the world has some sort of answer that you don’t? Do you second guess, criticize or feel badly about yourself no matter how hard you try or whether others approve? Does criticism or judgement create shame that you can’t shake even with your best efforts? Does liking yourself seem impossible even on your good days?
Emotional and Psychological Abuse can leave you with these types of self-esteem and shame wounds.
I describe Emotional and Psychological Abuse as gradual suffocation. It can rob us of the sense of worthiness we were all born with & diminish our sense of capability, self-trust and ability to be kind to ourselves. Unchecked, it reduces our way of being to a painful set of self-protection and avoidance responses, designed to protect us from the sometimes relentless, all the while seemingly invisible, attacks that emotional + psychological abuse can be. Whether or not the abuse is still going on. And in relationships with people who may not be hurting us in the present.
Emotional and Psychological Abuse encompasses an array of verbal and behavioural harms, typically most damaging when performed by a caregiver, partner, or someone who has influence or power over us. It can include humiliation + criticism, misplaced control, shaming + blaming, denying + gaslighting, bullying + manipulation, neglect and caregiver responsibility-reversal.
My experience and training allows me to clearly detect the signs of Emotional and Psychological Abuse, and offer clarity, reparative validation and self-rebuilding support to help you heal, re-define your needs, and acquire the skills to set healthy, self-affirming boundaries moving forwards! I use a compassionate, grounded and empowering approach when working with clients struggling with the aftermath of emotional and psychological abuse. I combine DBT, Self-Compassion, Narrative & Somatic Therapies, and Healthy Boundary Setting Strategies to help you safety reconnect to a supported sense of self, and build tools for reality testing, self-validation and competently discerning misplaced blame, criticism or dismissal in yourself and relationship with others moving forwards.
I have particular expertise and experience working with clients with Narcissistic Injury. Narcissistic Injury is the psychological and emotional damage, that comes from being subjected to narcissistic behaviour in parents and partners: typically misplaced blame, gaslighting, humiliation, and persistent judgement or criticism. Narcissistic Injury shows up in us as low-self-worth, reduced or even an absent sense of self, placating or pleasing others, an inability to say no to requests even if they are self-compromising, generalized sense of being wrong, invalid or unworthy, and/or PTSD symptoms. If you struggle with codependency or the impulse to save or rescue others, you can be particularly vulnerable to this type of patterning and injury.
If this sounds like what you’ve been going through, please reach out. With the right support and regained self-leadership it is possible to reconnect to peace, selfhood, your voice and discover a healthy way of knowing, relating and living.
